


You're On My Mind

by YellowSniper64



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And everything after, Episode: s13e22 Exodus, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, based on my own headcanon, prayers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:26:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowSniper64/pseuds/YellowSniper64
Summary: Starting from the day Sam gets back through the rift without his archangel, he prays to Gabe at random times, when his mind wanders, because he knows that evern if Gabe was alive, he wouldn't come to visit them. Sam tells him abouteverything, because it only feels right.





	You're On My Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LPCollins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPCollins/gifts).



> Because you're the one I told my idea to first, and the one who keep encouraging me. Thanks darling <3

People were celebrating. Drinks were handed out, though someone actually took into account that many of the hunters were too young. Smiles were spread across more faces than not, and the mood of the room was rather light. 

Yes, even the Winchesters seemed to be in a decent mood. They  _had_ saved so many people, after all. Jack and Mary were home safe, like they originally had set out to retrieve. Despite the fact that Mary was prepared to stay, they had compromised successfully. Young hunters and scarred adults alike took refuge in the (now, seemingly much smaller) bunker; Bobby and Charlie, though not the ones they knew and loved, were comforting to have around, as unsettling as it is. 

Never had the bunker been so lively. Speeches were made, from Bobby's, to all the drunk announcements that occurred later that evening. Next to none of those, besides Bobby's, would be remembered the following morning.

However, the brightness of burnt out grace was still seemingly seared into the Winchester brothers' eyelids. Dean felt a pit in his stomach every time he realized that he couldn't tell Gabriel that he'd forgiven him. Despite everything, it was true; Dean  _did_ forgive and understand his motives. As much as he tried telling himself there was nothing he could have done in that moment, he was finding it harder and harder to believe.

Sam was more torn down that he willing to let on. Now, he can't say in their small time together, he fell head over heals for the angel, because he wasn't his brother. However, there was definitely something, something that Sam couldn't place. 

Sam only slipped away after noticing that his brother had left the scene as well. He made his way to his room without being bothered or dragged into another conversation, to which he was grateful. Perhaps in that moment, his vibe gave off how much he really wanted to be left alone, but he couldn't seem to care at the moment. Instead, he just closed himself in his room with clean clothes, and fell back into his mattress.

 "Gabriel," Sam called out, wincing as the name left his lips. He didn't know what he was doing, but he closed his eyes and let out a breath as he thought about what to say. He didn't know why, but if there was even a  _chance_ that Gabriel was alive, Sam wanted to call after him. 

There was going to be no response to any of his prayers, Sam knew that. Gabriel was killed while on such low grace, there would be no room for trickery this time.

"We're back," The hunter finally started. "we're home, I guess. You were allowed to call this place your home if you could've stayed. I doubt you would stay, though. Heaven needed you, and if not that, you'd probably be on the run." 

Sam tried chuckling to himself, only to have the scene rewind and play through again against his eyelids.  _This is pitiful_ , Sam thought to himself, rubbing his palms down his face in an exasperated motion. 

"You've been gone before, and you were found again. For some reason, I feel less inclined to believe that'll happen again. Are you in the Empty? Cas told us about the Empty. If you are there, then you'd probably just be asleep... I've never quite understood it but I'm not sure I want to."

To say a hunter was insane was to be expected, but he had know idea how else to describe this one-sided conversation. However, his rambling continued, seemingly out of his control.

"In case you are alive, I'll keep you updated on Cas and Jack. That... that way, you won't have to come back. I know you've got stuff to do, you're an archangel after all, and a trickster."

 A moment of silence passed.

"We miss you."

* * *

Sam never told anyone about how the broken archangel was on his mind more than he'd like to admit. He never told anyone how he informed Gabriel about Lucifer's death, saying an apology for it being his brother. No one knew that Sam told Gabriel about Jack's absent grace, about Dean saying yes, and about how scared he was to be a leader. 

No one knew, except the celestial being himself, if he was alive. 

Which he wasn't, Sam had to remind himself. _And it's your fault for dragging him with you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think :D  
> Much more is to come, just give me time.


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